A liter of your sweat is the same as a liter of my sweat. At CFS, we believe in consistency. By holding you to the same line as everyone else, we can promimse you’ll only be beaten in a fair fight.

If you squat 300lbs to competition depth (crease of the hip below the crest of the knee and all that) then you’ve done it. You’ve squatted 300 lbs. So, what does it take to squat more than you? If I squat 450 lbs, but only halfway to your depth, have I done better? 550 lbs? Six hundred and fifty pounds?! No. I have not done a squat. The line was clear, and I fell short.

If the line is unclear, then I’ll squat as low as “close enough” and beat you. It won’t be fair, but it will count. And I will win. Maybe then, you can throw on even more weight, and squat a little shallower, and now you beat me! So fuck it, I’ll throw five-hundo on the bar, take a step out of the rack, do a curtsy squat and take the prize. Who are you to call me wrong?

At CFS, we call that bullshit. At other gyms, they call that Monday.

Without any kind of consistency, we can’t measure “yes” or “no”. It’s all just “yeah, kinda”. As a lot of newer athletes have found, our pass/fail is black and white. Fifty Shades of Gray may be on our bookshelves, our pillows, and our minds, but it ain’t in our gym!

We hold everything at CFS to a standard just as rigid. Open Gym is only during specific times. It ends at 6pm every night because that’s when the gym gets really busy. Starting next week at 6pm we will have CrossFit, Sweatshop, and a Specialty class (endurance/gymnasty/oly). Relaxing the standard for just one member doesn’t help him out…it only screws over everyone else.

“You have to be done by 6:00, unless you’re Stacey. Then the rule is 6:07”

“Bryan gets to stay until 10 minutes after because he was 10 minutes late showing up”

“Felicia just got some new shoes today. Let’s give her an extra few minutes and tell her to just stay out of the way.”

“Pedro can keep doing open gym because the crossfit class isn’t that big tonight.”

We have to have the same stance with other policies at our gym. Our rules have been crystal clear from the beginning. Whenever we make changes around here we announce them well in advance and constantly remind you when they go in to effect!

“Bridgette asked really nicely for a free membership.”

“Garret is wearing blue today, he doesn’t have to warm up before jumping in to the class.”

“Tina has to go to work, so she doesn’t have to clean up after herself.”

“Jackie doesn’t have to guide the bar down from overhead because she’s stronger than everyone else in class.”

“Daniel thinks the sign that says ‘Coaches Only’ doesn’t apply to him because he’s short.”

“The rules don’t apply to Taylor because he’s a coach.”

“Timmy doesn’t have to do what I say because that’s not how they did it at his old crossfit back home.”

“I don’t have to park in the parking lot because I don’t want to walk that far.”

No, seriously. Y’all need to park in the lot from now on. Not in the bakery parking lot. Not in the yard across the street. Either park in the ditch leading up to the gym, or around back in the parking lot.

You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

We’ve tried bending the rules on special occasions. We’ve also tried being strict and non-compromising. Consistency and fairness is the only way. Otherwise the squats get higher, the late gets later, and everyone gets angry when we make exceptions. Squats are like sex, it only counts if you go deep. Let’s go deep y’all.

-Rant inspired in part by CatalystGym